I feel kind of bad because I have been keeping my love, Karen, a secret. I've not been ashamed of her or anything, but so far it's been one of those internet romances so I guess I feel embarrassed about it. Like when my friend comes up to me and says, "I just fucked this amazing woman from France! Hey bud, are you seeing anybody"? Well, I guess I feel like kind of a loser just saying, "Oh, I'm talking to some girl on the internet. I think it's serious". Especially when you consider I've been celebate for around five years.
Sometimes I'm embarrassed about the situation but then I feel extremely guilty about handling it like this because she cares about me so deepy and it really does touch me deeply as well. Nobody has ever cared about me so much my entire life. That's how it feels at any rate. People may have cared about me that much some time in the past, but if so I don't remember it, but certainly no one has cared about me that much lately enough where I can easily remember it.